Hope is the thing with feathers

 Yesterday I became hopeful. I met my son's therapist for a consult and also with a friend who went through a similar journey with her daughter. 

Through their perspectives I could see and feel the light at the end of the tunnel.  I could feel this more in my bones and less in my head.  Hope leaks out of my mind like water through hands. New thoughts come in that are darker and more worrisome.  

But, hope in the bones feels heavy and more real. Things are hard but there is meaning and growth in all of this. 

This is an opportunity for growth the kind we all give so much lip service to.  We want our children to develop self-awareness and the skills to regulate their emotions. We understand that hardship is what makes us more real and human.

And, still it's so hard to witness. It's so hard to have patience and trust. Sometimes all I see is loss and regression. Those baby steps that are such wins are washed away as quickly as they come. 

Breathe.