The Mouse in the Milk Bucket

 I keep thinking of the mouse who keeps kicking her legs to escape a milk bucket until finally she's made butter to stand on. I keep waiting for that butter. In the meantime it helps to focus on what is working.  There are lots of hugs and I love yous and amazing mature conversation happening with my thirteen year old. Sorry mom that I yelled, I was just feeling overwhelmed. Thanks mom for doing everything you are doing to help me. 

We have gone on five runs together now and his pace is already looking better. I see his back now more than his side. We are trying for three runs a week. 

He is listening to relaxing white noise at night to help anxiety at night. Last night he said, mom, I feel really good about tonight and sleep.

We did some charity hours on Saturday, in the rain no less.

Last night we went to a great Mexican spot for tacos. My husband is out of town so it was just the three of us. Greasy crispy chips and hot tingly salsa. 

I cleaned the crap out of our house and everything smelled like wood and soap. Cleaning really does relax me.

I ended the day with a sense of fiery empowerment. We are his parents and are in control. Not of his behavior but what we expect and will ask of him. All we can do is what is best and then maybe soon, some butter under those feet! 

Gosh when I first feel some ground, what a feeling that will be.