Reading

There is a lot of stress in my life right now, as a mother. It seems when your kid is really struggling, and I mean really struggling, it is almost impossible to feel okay. It's gut wrenching at times and his anxiety triggers mine and I worry, worry, worry. 

Sometimes my usual self-care strategies that seem to get me through most things don't seem to loosen the grip of anxiety and sadness that hang on my ribs for dear life. I wake up with a knot in my stomach and loads of worried thoughts that spin and spin. I can't seem to find peace or relief. 

One thing that has brought peace is reading. I am a big reader most of the time but now it is a refuge I can count on. Every night I take a calm gummy, get under my heated blanket, and wait for Holly our dog to find me. 

I grab the latest book and escape into its' soft pages. Elizabeth Strout is really hitting the spot these days. She writes of hard and ordinary lives in really graceful ways. I find comfort in her Crosby, Maine. 

The kids often join me on the bed and the three of us joke and play with Holly who gets really excited by all of the attention. It's no longer peaceful but there is life and laughter and I am okay letting go of peace for that.