Surprises

As someone who runs anxious it is very habitual to spin negative worrisome tales of the future and then frantically try to prevent what is in my head.  A pretty odd way to exist. 

I want to start a practice of not knowing and leaving ample space for delightful surprises, big and small.  I can't know and don't know what the future holds, let alone next week, so might as revel in simple everyday things that are working pretty darn well. 

Today as I sipped my coffee on the coach in the early morning hours the moon stood outside my window.  A round balloon of light. that I rarely notice at that hour. 

My daughter whose social life I spent a good deal of energy fretting over in the past comes home chirpy and happy as a new middle schooler. She is doing well in school and is thriving in new ways. 

My son who months ago wanted to drop his accelerated math class is now getting a high B. 

I have a consistent 10 minute a day meditation practice and I am noticing the difference. 

I am still running pain free at age 50.  That seems rare and lucky.

Last night there was a book launching party for a book my eleven year old is really excited about.  We ran into friends there.

There is so much to fret about in the long term - big swaths of what if.  But, the day to day. There is so much to celebrate. 

And, maybe, just maybe one day all these little moments of okay will accumulate into something wow and beautiful, and who knew!?