Last Day at Work
Everything has been turned upside down. My generation knows of bygone times of previous generations living through something that compromised ever aspect of daily life, but never us - until now.
My mind has been ringing with thoughts of doom as the news comes out in daily waves of updated new levels of seriousness. It's a constant shock to the system trying to absorb shards of new reality exploding by the hour.
On Monday walking in to work where we were still expected to see students I felt like bursting into tears. My chest was tight and I almost felt unable to take the simple steps of walking into work. The college that I work at was a day or two behind the news cycle where lock down seemed both advisable and inevitable.
Once in the office it seemed as though the colleagues that did show up for work, many had called in sick, were unaware of the seriousness of the virus. We shared cake in the break room, and sat close to each other during a training for online counseling services.
The news of California's lock down came late morning and with that we knew an announcement of our college's closure was just a matter of time.
As the day wore on, my social distancing habits relaxed as did I. There was some measure of comfort in talking to students (over the phone at this point) and doing the work I am accustomed to.
Talking with co-workers who were having similar thoughts and feelings about managing work and home brought my anxiety down to just a small buzz. There was relief.
The plastic tub of disinfectant wipes that I brought to work like some ridiculous form of armor in a dystopian nightmare faded into the background. Life was normal again. Of course it really wasn't but our minds seek out normalcy like oxygen.
After college closure was announced I stayed at work adding content to the class I am now teaching online. Getting anything done at home has felt elusive now that all four of us crowd the space balancing work and some hastily thrown together version of home school.
At 8:30 pm I closed the door and walked through the almost empty parking lot. The lights from the street lamps were steady. What was the world I was now walking toward?
My mind has been ringing with thoughts of doom as the news comes out in daily waves of updated new levels of seriousness. It's a constant shock to the system trying to absorb shards of new reality exploding by the hour.
On Monday walking in to work where we were still expected to see students I felt like bursting into tears. My chest was tight and I almost felt unable to take the simple steps of walking into work. The college that I work at was a day or two behind the news cycle where lock down seemed both advisable and inevitable.
Once in the office it seemed as though the colleagues that did show up for work, many had called in sick, were unaware of the seriousness of the virus. We shared cake in the break room, and sat close to each other during a training for online counseling services.
The news of California's lock down came late morning and with that we knew an announcement of our college's closure was just a matter of time.
As the day wore on, my social distancing habits relaxed as did I. There was some measure of comfort in talking to students (over the phone at this point) and doing the work I am accustomed to.
Talking with co-workers who were having similar thoughts and feelings about managing work and home brought my anxiety down to just a small buzz. There was relief.
The plastic tub of disinfectant wipes that I brought to work like some ridiculous form of armor in a dystopian nightmare faded into the background. Life was normal again. Of course it really wasn't but our minds seek out normalcy like oxygen.
After college closure was announced I stayed at work adding content to the class I am now teaching online. Getting anything done at home has felt elusive now that all four of us crowd the space balancing work and some hastily thrown together version of home school.
At 8:30 pm I closed the door and walked through the almost empty parking lot. The lights from the street lamps were steady. What was the world I was now walking toward?
Comments
Post a Comment